“You Think Killing Is Hard? Try Healing”

You can break something in two seconds. But it can take forever to fix it.

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“You think killing is hard? Try healing. You can break something in two seconds. But it can take forever to fix it”. Beatrice at Dinner

This is the dialogue and a great scene by Salma Hayek from “Beatriz at Dinner” movie. I don’t watch the movie. I scrolled Tik Tok and come across the scene and it resonates with me.

Today is the day that I lose it. I’m having a major breakdown in the middle of working. I cried and I still cry writing this now. I thought I’m fully healed. For months, I feel motivated with my life. I don’t think about anything that hurts me. Today, I feel pains.

Healing is hard. I’m writing this to tell all of you that it’s okay to have days like this. After all, we are human. We are supposed to be sad sometimes. It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to cry and don’t want to get up from bed. It’s okay to have an emotional breakdown in the middle of working. It’s okay because healing is hard and we are trying. I am proud of myself and you all should too.

We are going to be sad. Of course. Being cheated by someone you love is painful. Being abused by parents is hurtful. Being betrayed by someone you trust is distasteful. You should be sad. Life is not always rainbows and butterflies. There will be days that it is dark and gloomy. That’s the reality of life.

Even so, don’t let your emotions define who you are. You are allowed to grief. Don’t dismiss your emotions. Some people distract themselves from acknowledging the feelings because they thought being sad is a weakness. No. You are allowed to feel the sadness and honor the painful memories and still be the strongest person on this earth.

I’m sad today but I know I’m still a strong and independent woman.